Lessons My Parents Taught Me

1. Work and Work Hard

Above all else, my parents taught me how to work. That's a perks of growing up on a farm--there is always work to be done. Some of my earliest memories are of riding in the back of our big, red tractor with my dad and Dayna. There were these two, little flat "seats" behind the driver seat that Dayna and I would sit on. I can remember sitting back there with my buck teeth just grinning because I was so happy to be out with my dad and big enough to ride with Dayna on the "seats." There were always little treasures to be had thrown in the back as well: a half drunk coke, a tool or some sorts to fiddle with, and of course a measuring tape to see if we couldn't kink. As I grew and graduated from the tire well seats to the driver seat, I spent many hours driving that tractor through fields, an accidental creek or two, and maybe over a couple pipe valves, but even after a long summer day of haying, I can promise you my dad had been up earlier and would still be going when I called it quits. There were many nights I feel asleep to the slow chugging of the baler working on through the night because the bales are always tighter with the dew on them.

2. How to "eye ball"

My mom literally does not own a solid set of measuring cups or spoons. She does, however, have a conglomeration of cups and spoons that could maybe pass for a measuring set. One of the cups has a crack along the bottom, so you better not need to measure any liquid, and one very helpful child accidentally chewed a measuring spoon in the garbage disposal so it's a now a teaspoon minus a little of the top... However, it doesn't seem to matter to my mom that my dad and I one time took her good measuring cup--without the crack--and her kitchen whisk to mix powder milk for a couple bum calves without mommas (and I'm sure we probably never returned them). She taught all her daughters to cook, but she didn't do it with any spoons or cups. She would dump a little salt in her palm and toss it in or mix in flour till it looked right, and even though my mom taught me well, my bread never turns out as beautiful as her's. I'm glad she taught me how to eye ball it every once in a while. 

3. Cut Once, Measure Twice

The other day I was watching "The Pioneer Woman" on Food Network, and she was taking lunch to her family as they were building a fence. I almost had to shut the TV off and write her off. What a pathetic fence. They didn't use the fence stretcher right. Their dancers were crooked. They didn't tamp the posts right, and their auger holes were most definitely crooked. Since my dad spent most of his summer hours haying, that meant he spent most of the winter hours fixing fences. I truly would like to know the miles of barbed wire my dad has spread across the frozen fields of the Paris bottoms. We once spent a whole fall and winter at the "facilities" building the most impressive alley way and chute. It came complete with an alley way backstop and sidewalk so I didn't have to jump across cable reels to hot shot the cows. And, I'm sure we made my dad proud when Dayna and I helped him build a short fence at the barn. To this day, I don't think I've laughed so hard as I did that day carrying boards with Dayna in the falling snow.

4. You'll Work Your Whole Life
 I got my first job the day I turned 16, and I still remember my parents telling me I had my whole life to work; they knew this because they have worked hard their whole lives. First, I truly cannot remember my dad ever taking a sick day. Whether it's sharpening saws or feeding cows, he is always on the job. Second, I am so grateful my mother worked. I know she didn't always enjoy working, but she always went to work.  I think of her hard work ethic every day lately. I am not where I planned to be in my working life right now, but I am, however, extremely grateful for a job that pays well and allows me to commute with Steven every day, but I'm not exactly happy with it. Everyday I think of my mom and how hard she worked at jobs that definitely weren't her ideal, but she still went and I never heard her complain...that is something I'm sure Steven wishes I would do now and then! I'm not sure what my mom and dad would do if they could choose their ideal job, but I do know they would work just as hard as they do now.

5. Stack Wood
My dad is also one of the most giving people I know. Many times he helped our neighbors with wood for the winter or a bag of food he'd often take from our own freezer. He always made sure we had plenty in our family, and then he'd turn to others and share. Often times I was annoyed or put out that I had to unload wood or food at another's, but there was one time in particular that changed my attitude for good. One night he had brought home a huge stack of wood to be delivered to an unsuspecting home, and I complained the entire time I unloaded it. About the time I was done, my dad told me to stack some up by the door. I was definitely not happy about this. I saw no reason why I had to not only unload the whole stack, but now I had to stack it by their door?! Come on. The next day I was stopped by a young woman who asked if it was me and my dad who had unloaded that wood. I wasn't quit sure what to say since to this day I still don't know who all my dad would help, but I nodded. Crying, she explained that she had chosen to work an extra shift that night because she didn't want to go home. She knew she had no more wood to heat her house on this winter night; however, at the end of her second shift she made her way home, and as she was opening the door of her house she noticed the wood stacked beside it. If my dad hadn't felt the need take a couple extra logs up to her doorstep, she would not have noticed the wood stacked beside her house. Each time I see an outstretched hand on the streets of Boston I think of my dad, and how he never passed up an opportunity to help another. 

6. I am Who I am Because You Worked
My mom was not a stay at home mom, and for that I am grateful. Because she worked, she taught me to be very independent. I learned to do a lot of things because my mom wasn't doing it for me! Don't get me wrong, she still did more for me than I would be able to count, but I had a lot of independence because there were times where I had to do it myself, and I'm glad I did. I know my sisters helped me a lot as well. Dayna was my after school buddy, and I'm glad we had that hour between hopping off the bus and chore time to sit together and watch cartoons...even if we did fight every once in a while. I'm glad she taught me and my sisters (Theron is still questionable ;)) how to do my laundry, make the occasional dinner and get my homework done without asking. But you can be certain, she was always there to bring the forgotten book to me at school on her lunch break. We were independent, but she always still knew what we were doing. 

This was actually a picture from that very night

7. Dafne & Job
While I was growing up, my parents never pushed the church. It was simply expected. They set an expectation and let each of us choose to follow. I am truly grateful they lead by example in the church. They never skipped church to get an extra weekend day, but they were never ostentatious about it either. They are quiet followers of Christ who teach by example and actions without any flourish or attention. I would see this in my dad when over the years I'd catch him up at all hours of the night reading his scriptures--sometimes with just a small lamp on and other times with a recorded Jazz game on. One night in particular almost 4 years ago exactly, I found him up late rocking Dafne. We got started talking about my recent MS diagnosis, and he turned to the story of Job to help me put into perspective what a trial is. I still find immense comfort in the story of Job when I need strength to persevere or just to remember that night listening to my dad talk about the deepest of life's greater trials while rocking his grandbaby.

8. Love is Gross
Lastly, my parents taught me what love and marriage looks like. It looks gross. Just kidding! But honestly, they are grossly in love with each other. They kiss a lot. And hug a lot. And hold hands all the time. Or if my mom's feet are cold, he'll hold those too. And they still cuddle--even if their grandkids are snuggling up in between them now! They definitely have had ups and downs throughout their 36 years of marriage, but they always come out stronger as a couple...even if a few sandwiches get punched in the process! 

I am so grateful for my parents and the love they show me, my sisters and brother, and each other. They have taught me so much more than what is listed here, and they are still teaching me today. They are truly the perfect parents for me. Happy (late) Mother's and Father's Day--I love you both.