Main Points of Maine

The last couple days are most easily described as being on a roller coaster... In slow motion. Vacation is great; it's nice and relaxing, and, at the same time, it is hectic and stressful. I enjoy the time I've spent just relaxing and being with Steve; however, I've learned a few things since the end of finals and here they are:

1) Despite the horrible fights and overall cheating of it, I miss playing Pollyanna with my family this Christmas.

2) Maine roads are so confusing! Hopefully Steven likes to drive, because I don't see myself driving anytime soon here.

3) Lobsters...

4) Little boys will always love their mamas.

5) Some find it harder than others to talk to people.

6) Some find it harder than others to understand that.

7) Code 340 does not have to be my goodnight.

8) Only 5% of the people who take the ACT score over 30. Unless to you happen to be sitting by a row of Guerrettes.

9) I hate waking up more than anything. Especially when it's done rushed.

10) I miss my family but I love his... But I still miss mine.

I am Code:340

Today I got a procedure order form from my doctor...

Under patient description it read: Diagnosis code: 340...

I wonder if I'll ever get used to seeing that? 

Freezing Cold

Guess what....I PASSED SPANISH!! Barely, but a pass is a pass, and I'll take it!

Also, I was spoiled again. Steve spoils me with all sorts of things from fuzzy, purple socks to sparkly, purple watches to an amazing purple camera! This camera can do all sorts of things like: 

Give me a big nose...

Make Steve an Alien.

Ha! Morph faces. Maybe we shouldn't try this one again...

And take normal pictures.

 

Also, Colty learned to walk! Such a cute little boy. 

This break has been great so far. We haven't done much; we came up to Idaho and have just been hanging out with my family, but I love being here even if it is cold and icy and makes me want to move somewhere where it doesn't snow. 

Sheldon's Theory

Sheldon has a point...





But so does President Uchtdorf...



I find gift giving so hard! I enjoy finding and giving gifts, but I hate receiving them. They stress me out and make me feel out of place. I seem to be having a very difficult time with it this year. So much so that it is making Christmas gifts more of an obligation rather than a chance to bless and be blessed my the service and humility that giving and recieving gifts can be. Tonight, I decided I am sick of being stressed about it, so I'm going to shrug off my Sheldon like theory and try to "build and strengthen bonds of love."

Doing What I Love

My roommate, Courtney, posted this video on facebook today, and it spawned a long train of thoughts for me. Alan Watts is a British philosopher who died some 40 years ago, but years after his death his video speech is circulating the internet. I listened to his words and was stuck by the profound message he delivered. He asks the listener what you would do for a living if money didn't matter; he then goes on to explain that working at a job that you do not like for the only purpose of gaining more money, you will be unsatisfied. If it's all about the money, then you work in order to go on living, but living is doing what you don't like doing, so why not do what you love?

I thought about what I love and what I would do if money weren't an issue: I would bake, read and write. Wait, that's what I am going to do! I thought, man, I'm lucky to be able to do what makes me happy.

Then something else crossed my mind that turned my thinking around. What about being a mom? Isn't that what I should want to do more than anything else? If money wasn't an issue, shouldn't the obvious answer to what you want to do for your life be to be able to stay with your family. I felt a little abashed at my first response to that question. That's not what I am supposed to want! I am supposed to want to be a stay at home mom. Don't get me wrong, I do want that eventually, but I also want to use my college education. Then it dawned on me, my thinking was so very narrow and naive as to what being a mom entails. Baking, reading and writing are not exclusively work place characteristics. Duh. I felt so dim after realizing this. In fact, I will probably learn more as a mother than I have in five years of college instruction.

Actually, being a mom is combining what I am training to do and what I want to do. I love cooking breakfast. Although I am not enticed by breakfast foods, I love the breakfast smell, people and idea of sitting down, eating and being together before the day begins. I love to read, and I love to read aloud. I will never forget the sound of my dad's voice as he read Drover's lines from Hank the Cowdog. I love to write; i write better than I speak. Speaking of writing, I have a huge paper I should be writing...

I honestly cannot wait until I can cook breakfast for my brown-eyed children, read aloud to them the wonderful adventures of Hank and Drover and write notes from the tooth fairy, Skippy the Elf and the Easter Bunny.

Old Roots and New Beginnings

If you're reading this, then you know my blog has undergone some changes. I loved my old blog title and blog URL, but it has run its course, and we all make sacrifices for those we love. Quackgrass has been on my mind lately. Maybe because I have a painting of Quackgrass hanging on my wall, so it is always in sight, or maybe it was because I read to Steve the beautiful paper my sister, Natalie, wrote for me about Quackgrass. Why Quackgrass? Because that's who I am and always have been ever since I was little. My dad nicknamed me Quackgrass and my other sister, Dayna, Petunia. As a small child, I didn't realize the significance behind these names, but looking back now my dad's sense of humor is dripping all over them. Dayna is sweet, kind, tender, graceful and beautiful: like the Petunia flower. However, I wasn't like my wonderful sister who as she ages only lives up to the name. I was a bit more well, Quackgrassy. I followed my dad around like a puppy dog, so that whenever he turned around he was stumbling over me, I was into everything and I was stubborn and enjoyed being more of a nuisance than a help during chores: not unlike the Quackgrass. Considered a noxious weed, this grass is everywhere, it is stubborn, strong and usually a nuisance rather than helpful. I grew up with this name, and at times I was jealous of my sister's sweet name and demeanor and ashamed of mine. It took some years, and different perspective to realize being Quackgrass isn't all that bad.

So, as I begin a new part of life with getting married, moving to Boston temporarily, graduating and moving to Boston permanently, I'm letting a lot of things go. I will say goodbye to Provo, in fact, I'll say goodbye to my beloved west. I'll lose the luxury of living only 3 hours away from home and from breathing in the wonderfully crisp, somewhat dairy air of Bear Lake, and in return I'll be blessed with a loving husband, a secure job, the busy city and living only 2 hours away from family.

Like the Quackgrass, my future life has some drawbacks, but it also has some great things to come, and I couldn't be happier for them to come. So, here's to my old roots and my better beginnings.