10+5-4+6+10-5=22

I'm officially 22 years old. I was asked today what I have learned in 22 years, and this what I've learned:

• God is real; as is the Atonement. 
• Everyone's life is hard. 
• Do what you want to do. If that is going to school, dying your hair purple, or staring at hot air balloons--do it, and do it well.
• Loving is real. Hurting is real. Healing is real. Loving again is real.
• Not everyone graduates from college in 4 years.
• Find your drug. 
• Laughing really is the best medicine. 

Today really was great. I worked most the day and played volleyball in the evening. I kinda like my coworkers. I blew powder sugar--if you haven't done that before, do it. It's one of my favorites! I finally got my teaspoon set and my favorite Half Baked ice cream. I'm going to bed a happy 22 year old tonight. 

Hell Bent and Scared

Quite a while ago I put a "Do Not Disturb" sign on me. I hate to admit, but I was hurt, and I didn't like it. I could feel my heart inside of me physically hurting. I never knew it could do that until I felt it give a jolting throb. I gave it some time to regain its composure, and then I put my sign over my heart and went along with life. Brian says I put up barriers, and Chad says I'm "frontin'" (said in a gangsta accent and not in a Idaho country accent, as I learned). Mostly, I'm just scared. Growing up, I wasn't scared of much. Ya, ya, ya, I'd climb a fence if it came between heading the hell bent cow and becoming a road bump beneath her 1500 pounds of cow flesh, but that's besides the point. My point is, I used to be brave, I used to trust (kind of) and I used to let myself take a chance--emphasis on all those "used to's." I took my "Do Not Disturb" sign down, but I'm scared every single day, and I don't trust at all anymore and I'm holding myself back as hard and as long as I can. Right now, I think I'd rather take on that hell bent cow...