I lay there with my head in a cage,

And pray she hits the vein the first try.

The elastic band is cutting into my bicep,

And I already know she's going to miss.

"Pump your hand in a fist," she says,

But I can see the self-doubt on her face.

She warns me that it's about to pinch,

But the pinch is nothing to me nowadays.

I heard her mutter and scowl in frustration,

And then I felt, inside my arm, as she fished,

Dug, dived, dipped and twisted the needle.

She pulls the needle out of my retching elbow,

And moves the damned elastic to my other arm.

I see her fidget and furrow her brow in concentration,

And I know she's going to miss--two more times.

I'm not crying from the pain,

I'm crying because I'm not a human pincushion.

Grace-isms

Grace is the little girl who lives upstairs; she is four years old, and one of the smartest people I know. She likes cookies, play dough and Dora shoes with velcro straps. Today she came down to bring me a bank statement and magazine ad that had come in the mail. I told her to come in and visit me while I finished fixing my hair. I asked her how her day was going, how her baby sister was and other whatnots. This is what I learned from our conversation:

Pretending is not just a game

"Is your brother and sister at school?"

"Ya, they go every day."

"Do you miss them when they're gone?"

"No, I just pretend they are here so I don't miss them."

Pretending makes you feel better, so why do we all stop pretending?! Because it is child-like? Well, I've decided I want to pretend more.

Cookies are good

"Grace, do you want a cookie?"

"Well yeah."

"I have oreos. Do you like those?"

"Yeah. I like most cookies."

If you like it; do it. I like laughing out loud while running at the gym. I like driving with really loud music. I like wearing eye shadow. I like dying my hair different colors. I like drinking milk straight from the jug.

It's okay with her if I don't get married for a long time

"Where's your boyfriend?"

"I don't have one, Grace."

"What happened to Chris?"

"We decided not be boyfriend and girlfriend anymore."

"Did he marry someone else?"

"I don't know, sweetheart."

"Oh. That's okay. You'll get married in the temple. Lots of people get married in the temple. You can't live here anymore when you get married. I hope you don't get married for a long time."

First, I was shocked she remembered I had a boyfriend, let alone his name, but as I said earlier, she is smart for four years old. Grace understands more of the world than I give her credit for. She understands break-ups, she understands you get married in the temple and she understands that getting married should take time and not be rushed. I think I'll stick with Grace and not get married for long time :)

We all look different, and that's okay

"Grace, who is your favorite Princess?"
"The one with the slanty eyes." (She pulls the corners of her eyes back tight)
"Jasmine?"
"No! The one with really slanty eyes!"
"Uhh...Pocahontas?"
"No! She has eyes that go like this!" (She pulls her eyes even tighter)
"Oh! Mulan?!"
"Yeah! That's her name. I like her."

Grace doesn't know or care that you shouldn't describe people as having "slanty eyes," because in her mind it isn't a bad thing to have eyes that slant. I'm going to stop caring so much about mine and others' physical appearance. It's okay.